Brain Failure

I have always maintained that change is inevitable and with that theme in mind, I try to be as open to changes in my life as I can possibly afford to be. However, sometimes the changes are so radical that they surprise me and make me want to just curl up and snuggle back into the warmth of my blanket while murmuring ," Go away stupid world". I was supposed to go meet my parents who are just back from way over the ocean. Seems simple enough but due to a series of horrible coincidences I just wasn't able to. Well on its own that might seems to be not that big a deal but yesterday, the whole insane week came to a ridiculously terrible end. I went to the bus station to go home but there was no bus available. I called my parents and told them I was going back to my flat and would try and catch the bus the next day. Which was fine of course. Loving understanding people both of them. On the way back home, on the metro my sim card got de registered from the network and they coul...

I've been lost to myself for a while now...and for some reason I've found bliss in this oblivion. Its pretty true what they say, ignorance is really bliss. If only our minds would let us forget our larger problems for the immediate present, just enough for us to live moment to moment. That in itself is enough for a happy life. The thinking mind troubles itself too much with both temporal directions and drifts from the honesty of its reality. The present is truly a gift and one must strive to enjoy it as much as possible. The future is too far and the past cannot be changed. If you let your internal self ponder on the more pressing matters, soon enough it becomes obvious that the state we live in can be the happiest one. I don't believe in any deity in particular. And for the most part, the satisfaction people get from religion eludes me. But there seems to be a greater force in the Universe than gravity for gravity itself must come from something ? The satisfaction of...

Age of h4x0r (A0E 2 theme remix)

Oh the mysteries of love. Such a wondrous thing it is indeed. Lifting you higher than the fluffy white clouds and then just when the warming rays of the sun dance over your face, washing all evil away from your soul....BAM. You find your magical wings have been snipped and you fall miles and miles down to your demise. But just as you are about to feel sweet release and have left all hope it happens all over again. Its funny, but its as evil as it is the very grace of god. On one hand you will wake up calling out the name of your lover if they aren't with you. But no matter how much of your soul you pour out to them, it will hurt just as much when they won't even treat you like a human being. No matter how much you cry, it still cuts when the words you scream out in your head go unheard even though you hear every whisper their heart lets out. Pain it seems, is the essence of all love. If so, embrace it as there is no escape. The Dead Poet returns.

Balm of my soul and healer of my mind, Why must I become the poison to my protector? For one who has done naught save cure me of my evils, How then can I justify this pain I lend to thee. Were it I could change the worldly flows, then would the rivers of Babylon flow nectar to thy breast. And nary a tribulation would ever cause, a furrow to rise pon brow so fair. But being as I am,a man of flesh. No more a god than an infinite nihility. I chanced your affection and in return, bequeathed thee with ceaseless sorrow. Forgive me oh divine one, for I am a man but thou art perfection within perfection. All that from which I am removed. Everything and Everynone. Forgive me.

Have you ever found that no matter how hard you try, you always end up hurting the people you love the most ? I mean, you intend to do the right thing but somewhere down the way its twisted and contorted from its form and turned into some grotesque imitation of what it was intended to be. And of course, the one it was intended for can hardly be blamed for not seeing the beauty in it. Its sad how time after time I try so desperately to become a better person and somehow always end up repeating the same old mistakes.Falling over the stones. But I'm not going to let that keep me from trying. Oh no. I'm going to make sure that I let them know in whatever way I can that I love them. that I do care. If the believe me then thats great and if they don't, well I'm still going to keep loving them. Because love is a selfish thing. You don't do it for someone else. No one asks you to fall in love with them. You fall in love because its what YOU want.