28th December 2008: Well well well... Seems not everything is as dark and grey in my little hell.I suddenly got reaquainted with this angelic and oh-so-cool girl I knew from school.....I actually sat and chatted with her for long while today.At the very least this seems to be the start of something remotely interesting in my boring life. That is if you call organizing an end of year party boring....and having to dj the party as well boring...and being a sleeping zombie while writing your blog boring. But I digress, the point is this - today was a (GASP!!!) good day.Im forced to admit that.Its a terrible thing to come to terms with but apparently such things happen to me as well.Afterall even the greatest have their flaws.If I was perfect I would be god.And im not because clearly I am not able to get around this little free will thing.A nd my Flameball and Lightning bolt seem to be giving me trouble as well..Ah well.... Thats about it for the day I suppose.Barring the fact that in an u...
Oh the mysteries of love. Such a wondrous thing it is indeed. Lifting you higher than the fluffy white clouds and then just when the warming rays of the sun dance over your face, washing all evil away from your soul....BAM. You find your magical wings have been snipped and you fall miles and miles down to your demise. But just as you are about to feel sweet release and have left all hope it happens all over again. Its funny, but its as evil as it is the very grace of god. On one hand you will wake up calling out the name of your lover if they aren't with you. But no matter how much of your soul you pour out to them, it will hurt just as much when they won't even treat you like a human being. No matter how much you cry, it still cuts when the words you scream out in your head go unheard even though you hear every whisper their heart lets out. Pain it seems, is the essence of all love. If so, embrace it as there is no escape. The Dead Poet returns.
For the first time i'm at a total loss for words to describe what I feel. I didn't think it possible to feel so much for someone. And I have felt strongly about so many people - my parents, friends, lovers. And yet there comes a leaf blown from the heavens , a soft angelic caress on your cheek that sends a million shivers down your spine and changes the way you look at the world in general. And what do you do when the leaf blows away and all you are left with is the emptiness of the bare walls that you stare into trying to find some kind of hope or reason. It will of course return in time but till then all you can do is shed a glistening tear onto the motionless floor and lay in the creases of your own hollowness. Miss you doesnt quite describe the pain of needless exile. still....i miss you. :') Happy tears right?
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