Laugh it Off and Keep Walking..the story of my (XD)

Its strange how I have to deal with labels like "emo" or "dark". Its really amusing to see people in their happy bubbles and padded lives not having to go through the realities of what life truely is at its very core. Life IS a beautiful thing no question, but sometimes the ugliness that marrs its beauty can be so infuriating it leaves one hollow and quite disillusioned with the whole thing altogether. Thats not to say I despise my life. Far from it. Its just that I dont understand why some people fail to see that living in the pain of loss is my way.

Why do you grimace ?
Wherefore do you wretch at my agony,
when all that aches is my being,
my soul.
It is my pain and I wish not to share.
Why then must you take from me,
the one thing I still hold dear.
The signs are as clear as day,
if you would but clear your eyes.
So blurry from the waking sleep you have enforced,
upon yourself.
These balms you lay upon my wounds,
are worthless as your words.
Which you hurl at me, shallow and unfelt.
They mean nothing,how can they,
when all the while you cannot but face me.
Face my misery, pure unadulterated torment.
Its force is something that rattles your perfect world.
Therefore you try in vain to cure me.
But I tell you, It is not me that needs curing.
It is you who is maladied.
Your sweetness and joy disturb the natural order,
and reek of decay.
I, am fine.
My shell, long since broken, I have learned to survive.
But you, who have not faced the truth.
How shall you exist when your fragile walls crumble ?
Who will heal YOU ?

Again.I would like to enforce and drive home the fact that there is nothing emo about this. I love my life. Its just a matter of understanding that to experience one emotion is experience the other. One cannot understand joy if there is no sorrow nor hope to fathom companionship till we have known lonliness (or vice versa). It is merely that I tend to shade my world in the darker of the emotional bipoles.A leaning that comes from dealing with so much in life.And yet, young as I am, I cannot help but wonder, "what lies ahead ?" Is it going to be the same as always or will I finally get my "happy ending" ?

Its hard to say and so many things are uncertain about the future. But one things for sure. The pain I feel everyday helps me embrace and enjoy the joyful moments that little bit more than others.

I bid you adieu.Gute Nacht.