Brain Failure

Have you ever found that no matter how hard you try, you always end up hurting the people you love the most ? I mean, you intend to do the right thing but somewhere down the way its twisted and contorted from its form and turned into some grotesque imitation of what it was intended to be. And of course, the one it was intended for can hardly be blamed for not seeing the beauty in it. Its sad how time after time I try so desperately to become a better person and somehow always end up repeating the same old mistakes.Falling over the stones. But I'm not going to let that keep me from trying. Oh no. I'm going to make sure that I let them know in whatever way I can that I love them. that I do care. If the believe me then thats great and if they don't, well I'm still going to keep loving them. Because love is a selfish thing. You don't do it for someone else. No one asks you to fall in love with them. You fall in love because its what YOU want.

After a kind of longish break Im back!!!!!!!!!! Time to write and let the creative juices flow..... or not. Turns our theres more creativity going in than coming out of me at the minute. What exactly that is supposed to mean still eludes me at the minute. What? Excuse me? Huh? No it doesn't make any sense and theres no point trying to piece it together because as i said, it just doesn't make any sense. I didn't make it that way. Go alone knows why I'm writing today. I think its just because I love the feel of my fingers flowing over my keyboard as I smash out word after word of hueless color onto a semi normal segment of my virtuality. Theres nothing wrong with it. This is my alter ego after all. Ah yes. For those who didn't notice (And I really doubt anyone really does) this blog right here is my middle finger to the entire world and its mean little denizens. The teaming numbers of mindless and faceless work ants scurrying about not realising their own futility. Ta...

For the first time i'm at a total loss for words to describe what I feel. I didn't think it possible to feel so much for someone. And I have felt strongly about so many people - my parents, friends, lovers. And yet there comes a leaf blown from the heavens , a soft angelic caress on your cheek that sends a million shivers down your spine and changes the way you look at the world in general. And what do you do when the leaf blows away and all you are left with is the emptiness of the bare walls that you stare into trying to find some kind of hope or reason. It will of course return in time but till then all you can do is shed a glistening tear onto the motionless floor and lay in the creases of your own hollowness. Miss you doesnt quite describe the pain of needless exile. still....i miss you. :') Happy tears right?

There is love and then there is Love. Of course , I have sometimes drawn parallels between Modern romance and pure lust but even so, there comes a time when the veil of emotions (still saccharine as the first time you ever tasted them upon virgin lips) drops before your eyes and cupid's painfully pleasurable arrows prod deep into your soul. Thusly I set before you a median concept in light of my ever consistent alignment with the grossly neutral. What I tell is a tale of intense desire distilled, liquefied, frozen, melted, centrifuged and subject to such a plethora of unimaginable emotional switch-arounds that in the end what emerged was pure, unadulterated love. Not hard to believe right ? As all great tales, this story to is instanced by the slightest of circumstances. A mere whim as it was. A bored college grad student decided he wanted to do something a little less ordinary with his life and in the process landed himself in the most mind numbing predicament. Six Sigma was neve...

Morn hath risen, Its hazy blue a silent petition. To hasten from slumber, the silent dreamers. But I sleep not. For though my eyelids are leaden, And my tired brain screams for rest. My heart is awake, Beating to the dawning calls. Watching as night begrudgingly, fades into daylight. Eyes of the heart never lie, Yet they may deceive the careless. For mankind has long forgotten how, To shut its eyes and see from the soul. Yet now, in my shifting insomniac world, I am one with totality. The sheer vastness of being eclipsing, All physical interjection. Perhaps I am euphoric. Perhaps it is enlightenment. Mayhap it is my transcendence. Or maybe I just need to sleep...